When Should You Tell A Date You Don’t Want Kids?

Now, at nearly 28 years old, I feel the same as I did back then: disillusioned and uninspired by the idea of being a parent. I don’t like the idea of all aspects of my life being dictated by a child, and I hate how common it is for women to lose their own identities, absorbed instead into the role of mother (while dads regularly continue to still be Harry-down-the-pub-after-footie). I’d also worry about how I’d affect a child, because we all have baggage from our parents. Having said that, I’m not 100% committed to the idea of not being a parent. I find “gentle parenting” an interesting style of raising children (which avoids leading by consequence and punishment, instead promoting boundaries and understanding); I know if I was a mother that helping my child build self-esteem would be high on my agenda; and I’m very pro-adoption and fostering. Occasionally, I can see myself fostering teenagers in my 40s, when I’m (hopefully) financially secure and ready to give more of myself to support others. That feels better to me, than to insist on having my own “flesh and blood” when there are children that need love and care already here, waiting.

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